This metaphor applies to your prince or princess. No, he or she did not magically turn into a frog now that you are getting divorced!
When you are going through a divorce, one of the hardest things to do is see things as they are; not as you THOUGHT they were, think they SHOULD BE, or WISH they were. I come across so many men and women who are distraught over the demise of the marriage and more so, deeply disappointed in their husband/wife. As they sit with me they often begin by saying "why can't he/she just do 'the right thing' or I just cant believe that he/she said...or did... As we talk things through a little more, it quickly becomes apparent that the husband/wife NEVER did the so-called "right thing" that the soon to be ex-spouse wishes he/she had and that his/her behavior is pretty consistent with what is happening NOW in the divorce. When my client sees this, I usually see a smile on his/or her face. It's one of those "aha" moments.
Once you see things as they are, it becomes easier to focus on taking action to deal with what IS and to stop wasting your precious time, energy and tears on what you thought or hoped for.
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